Miss Raisa: "I think out loud and that bothers a lot"

--- Is it difficult to live with all these labels?

--- Sometimes, it's a bit complicated to be yourself without encountering many obstacles along the way. When I talk about obstacles, many times they are people who are there to tell you who you should be. They tell you that you are not integrated enough here, but neither in Morocco. I don't forget where I come from, but I'm not going to deny the country I'm in either. In the end, it's a matter of valuing the cultural diversity that exists and enjoying it, without having to disparage or underestimate anything.

--- All this you relate motivated you to write from a young age. What has music meant to you? Has it been a tool for channeling?

--- It has helped me to channel emotions and to understand what was happening inside me. I found a way to vent and talk to myself. I was very shy. To this day, it is still very important. I have my notepad full of thoughts, nonsense, reflections, things that make sense and things that don't make sense. Nowadays there is a lot of fear of thinking and questioning. It seems that we are in the era of freedom of expression, but, not at all.

--- All these thoughts you wrote, at what point do you decide they should become rap?

--- I never intended to turn it into rap. I listened to a lot of music, but to this day, that impostor syndrome of "I'm not good enough" still haunts me. People who call me an artist make me feel very big. Artists have a lot of merit and I don't see myself making enough effort. I do, from time to time, things I like. I'm very playful, I'm like a little girl.

--- But you did start rapping.

--- It was a friend from high school who rapped in Catalan who told me to make a song. I really liked having transformed my thoughts and my story into something musical that I could share with many people.

--- And there was a day you decided to upload a song.

--- I have always lived from fear and from maximum shame. I explain it very well in my second book. It's terrible to live like that. It was a personal challenge. It was a surprise because many people liked it. It seems that the veil and rap were contradictory when I don't know what they have to do with each other.

--- Many women with public exposure suffer digital violence. In your case, the violence has been extreme.

--- I have a song where I say it: I am a Muslim woman, with a veil and Catalan, I have everything to be criticized. What wrong have I done in this world to receive so much digital violence? But then you see that the problem is not yours.

--- The violence was not just insults. You uploaded a video advocating for LGBTI rights and received death threats.

--- I used to see all that in movies. But, suddenly, I became the girl in the movie who needs protection because there are people who hate you so much for some strange reason that they want to harm you. Harm not only psychological, but also physical. I stopped going out. I changed my daughter's school because I also received videos of her inside the school.

--- The violence did not end here. The next wave of hatred you suffered began when, in the summer of 2022, you decided to remove your veil.

--- I didn't want to see the messages. They crush you a little every day and a part of you ends up dying. That makes me very angry. I am a very innocent person, very natural, very authentic and you realize that they end up changing you, without you realizing it. There comes a time when you repress yourself and self-censor. Social media changes you, in general. You become a slave. And I am not a puppet. I will always end up disappointing someone.

--- You say that before people labeled you as "the one with the veil" and now they define you as "the one who took off the veil." How do you experience that?

--- I didn't want the most remarkable thing about me to be the veil. I know it's important for the community. I know that for them it is a very powerful symbol of identity and it was for me too for some years, but it has dehumanized me a lot. It has completely taken away my personality, my merits, my work, my abilities. Everything I offer as a human being has been seen in a second, third, fourth place... The first thing was the veil. I am a person who dialogues a lot and I explain it to you and I have no problem because for me it is natural to have worn it and it is natural to have taken it off. I am more than the girl with the veil and I think I have also shown it. I think out loud and that bothers a lot.

--- Miss Raisa: you have more than 512,000 followers on TikTok and more than 59,000 followers on Instagram. After being a victim of so much digital violence, what is your relationship with social media?

--- Null. I have many Instagram and TikTok messages restricted. I have the trauma of all this, I don't even go into comments because I know they will insult me. I am like the punching bag. "I'm frustrated, I'm going to insult Miss Raisa." This means I live in a very violent environment all the time. I feel very attacked all the time and that, sometimes, also translates into family tensions. Maybe I'm very tired and, suddenly, I snap.

--- You had always used social media to transmit your music or to transmit messages of social awareness. Where does such a strong desire to communicate come from?

--- It's a bit the result of being silent for so long. As you grow, you get more hate. A friend told me yesterday: "Those are medals because you are generating a conflict in someone, making them think, making them contradict themselves." The word "referent" has also hurt me a lot. Because they put you as an exemplary person who can be useful for who knows what. And I, honestly, only want to be a referent for my children. For others, one day you are a referent and the next day you are the shame of the community.

--- But, clearly, women need role models to see themselves in. A woman like you, a rapper, Muslim, and anti-racist, inspires many girls. What messages do you receive from your followers?

--- Although not publicly, many girls write to me telling me that they want to work or be with whoever they want and cannot share it publicly. They can't even follow me, because it turns out I'm a horrible influence. They ask me how I managed to talk to my parents to dedicate myself to music or to be with the person I want. As if I were their last chance… I feel a lot of helplessness because I can't do anything. I always tell them: "Choose, there are moments in life when you have to choose, with all the consequences that entails."

--- Did you have role models?

--- I didn't feel reflected in many people. They existed, but they didn't have a platform or media repercussion.

--- You study psychology, you have published two books, you have the Diversity and Culture Tiktok award (2021), the RTVE Culture award (2022), and the RAC1 Voice of the Year award (2023). Where are you in your career? What do you feel like doing?

--- Now I'm going to get into a third literary project, that does excite me. It's going to be a bit about romantic literature to change registers a bit, which also excites me a lot. Musically, I've neglected it a bit, to be honest. I do things when I feel like it and that's a bit of success for me. When I'm not inspired, it's empty content. I love to experiment and play. I got into voice acting and loved it. Documentaries... But the project I'm enjoying the most ---this will be very sappy--- is my family. Having built such a beautiful and healthy family, where we can talk things through. It's the best project I can invest time in.