Paula Malia: "One of my greatest learnings has been to start setting limits"

--- What would you be doing on a Friday at this time if you hadn't made plans with me?

--- I'd be rehearsing or, now that I'm between projects, at home, studying. I might also be having a vermouth with a friend.

--- Are you a vermouth-with-friends kind of person?

--- I see them little and never have time.

--- Because of work?

--- Yes, because we have schedules that are difficult to reconcile with the rest of the world that isn't in this business.

--- How do your friends who aren't in show business handle it?

--- They're very used to it. They already know that if a trip is proposed, they say: "Paula will tell us later if she can come or not." But I'll tell you, I'm trying to be less and less like that.

--- Less how?

--- Well, actors always leave their schedules open for whatever might come up... And you miss out on a lot of plans.

--- How do you handle job uncertainty?

--- So-so. I have the great luck and privilege that, as I've progressed, less and less time passes between jobs. And that perhaps gives me a little more calm, but it's true that you live in the "you never know." And with money, for example, I never dare to make big investments because I think: "what if...", and I have to keep paying rent, bills. It's not easy, because the fear never completely goes away.

--- Do your routines change a lot when you're working?

--- I have to confess that I'm a disaster with routines.

--- Why?

--- To begin with, there's already something in my DNA that makes routines difficult for me. I'm a bit lazy. And I also have a job where every two or three months I have different schedules, and it's very hard for me to follow guidelines or go to the gym. I think I'm a shareholder in half the gyms in Barcelona! [the_ad id="188431"]

--- What do you do when the show ends?

--- Generally, we go for a drink. We leave late and I need to disconnect for a while, because if I go to bed with my adrenaline very high, I don't fall asleep.

--- Does the whole cast go?

--- With the musical cast, perhaps less. Coming from text theater, I realize that all of us from text theater are more likely to have a drink after the show. And the musical people are more disciplined.

--- You were the protagonist of Ànima, a three-hour show in which you sang more than 20 songs. Did you suffer?

--- At different levels. Vocally, I have to tell you that I took great care of myself and tried to behave well. I used to smoke and now I do it very occasionally.

"I always have a bit of imposter syndrome when I start a new project"

--- Let's see, it was about time, huh! I had been telling myself for a while that I had to quit, because I'm already 34 years old. But I told myself: "I want to sing, and I want my instrument to work." I've been taking care of myself, but I've suffered on days when my voice wasn't good, although it ended up sounding good afterwards. And I've also suffered a lot from imposter syndrome.

--- Why?

--- Because, although I trained as a musical theater actress, I then went to the Institut del Teatre and studied text theater. I had never done a musical as such either and, although I felt very supported by my colleagues, many times I wondered: "What am I doing here?"

--- A bit like asking for forgiveness?

--- A bit. But it was my thing, huh! This musical has been a tailor-made suit.

--- What made you think you weren't ready for this?

--- Damn, well there are very talented people! And although I started taking singing lessons like crazy and going to the gym to strengthen my body, in text theater I have the security of knowing what I'm doing, but when it came to singing, my butt was tighter.

--- But you are a singer.

--- Yes, but I had never done a musical as such, and suddenly: Teatre Nacional, Sala Gran, 800 or 900 people every day, and it's a bit like: "Will I know how to do it?" I always have a bit of imposter syndrome when I start a new project.

--- It always happens to us women.

--- And I don't know why. I guess there's always that thing that it seems like they're doing you a favor by giving you a job and, in the end, we're all where we are because we've worked very hard, more surely than a guy, because we have more closed doors.

"In an ovation, you feel very alive, and it moves me a lot to see people moved"

--- Oriol Burés, the creator and director of the show. He had been thinking about doing a musical for years, and he always told me he wanted me to star in it. He's a very talented guy, but I thought: "Who knows where this idea will end up." And in the end, it ended up in the Sala Gran of the Teatre Nacional five years later.

--- What does it feel like when a theater with 900 people gives you a standing ovation?

--- You feel very alive, and it moves me a lot to see people moved. It's like a kind of communion, something of Stendhal syndrome, of "how beautiful life is" or "how beautiful it is to be alive!" Not so much for the ovation, but because you see that people are moved by what you've left them there in the best way you could that day.

--- Are you someone who gets emotional in life?

--- I am a fairly optimistic and vital person, and I do get emotional, but I also have my moments.

--- I always see you with that lively smile on your face. It's hard to imagine you in a bad mood.

--- I've worked on it a lot with my psychologist, because I've always been very afraid of conflict, and one of my big learnings has been to start setting boundaries. It's hard for me to get angry, and you have to push me a lot for me to get angry, but when I do get angry, it lasts, because it means you've pushed me to my limit.

--- Have you always been afraid of conflict?

--- Always. I'm a Libra, and Libras are very indecisive people. Throughout adolescence and then in my twenties, the typical time when you hide a lot of things under the rug and in the end you say: "What do I do now with all this mountain of shit? How do I start setting boundaries?" And I think I've done it quite well, better and better.

--- Was the decision to work on it with a therapist yours, or did someone recommend it to you?

--- I've been going to a psychologist for many years. I believe in them a lot. My parents separated when I was 18 and it was me who told my mother: "I want to go to a psychologist."

--- What did she say?

--- She said: "But what's happening, are you unwell?" (she makes a surprised face). And I told her that the situation at home was quite turbulent at that moment and that I wanted to try it. I also had friends who were going. I've tried different types of therapy, I'm a big fan. I go and come back depending on my needs.

--- Do you have siblings?

--- I have a brother four years younger, Aleix.

--- Did anyone at home work in the performing arts?

--- No. My mother is a cleaner and my father has had many different jobs: he has been a truck driver, janitor, baker, waiter. Now he is retired. My grandmother was about to join the Romea company, but my grandfather told her: "Madam... no, either the theater or me." It was another era, I'm talking about the 50s. But she spent a long time doing amateur theater at the Catholic center in Sants.

"One of the most beautiful things my parents taught my brother and me was that it is very important that whatever we did, we liked it"

--- I to her, yes, but she to me, no, because she has very heavy Alzheimer's, it's very hard.

--- And your parents, what do they say?

--- They are very proud. They are very sweet! My mother always comes three or four times to see me. It makes me very happy, but I feel bad because I think: "Oh poor thing," even though she comes delighted!

--- Were you a good student?

--- Yes, by dedication, not because I was a whiz. I dedicated many hours to it and I have a good memory. I was quick at learning the syllabi.

--- You enrolled in the Faculty of Journalism.

--- Yes, because the social and human part interests me a lot, but I never actually went.

--- Oh well...

--- Journalism has always seemed like a very beautiful job to me, but I was already starting to do musical theater extracurriculars and I liked it a lot. There came a moment when I said: "Well, maybe I have to try it, and if I fall flat on my face I can always come back and do Journalism."

--- You don't close doors.

--- It is often said that being an actress is very vocational, and that we can't imagine doing anything else, but I could be happy being, for example, a travel journalist.

--- It's never too late.

--- Can you imagine?

--- And at home, how did they take that change?

--- Very well. Do you know why? Because they are people who have never liked their job, and one of the most beautiful things they have taught my brother and me is that it is very important that whatever we did, we liked it.

--- Wise advice.

--- Yes, because in the end, when you are older, you realize that you spend many hours of your life dedicated to your work, and if you don't like it, it must be a pain in the ass. It can make you very unhappy.

--- Do you watch the works you appear in?

--- Very little, the truth is I handle it very badly. The first viewing is usually always in a group and I have a terrible time. And they do it with all the good intention in the world: "Let's all get together to watch the series, come on!" and I think: "I don't want to!". I prefer to do a solo viewing first, have an opinion of what I think, if I like it or not, what I could have done better, and then, if anything, I'll watch it with someone. Because, if I do the first viewing with you, I'll be watching the series through you, and my opinion gets very blurred. After that, I never watch it again.

--- Your partner is the film director Dani de la Orden. Do you ask him what he thinks, or is it better not to know?

--- Yes, because Dani and I have a lot of trust and I believe a lot in his judgment. We have worked together, and he knows me very well. But sometimes I also tell him: "Okay, that's enough! I don't want to know anymore," because it depends a lot on the moment, on the process I'm in. For me, it changes a lot if you ask for an opinion once you've finished shooting, or while you're shooting. It's like reviews.

"I ask Dani a lot, because he is a very sincere person, for better or for worse"

--- I always try to read them all, but only after I've finished my performances, because they affect me a lot.

--- When you have to make an important decision, do you like to share it with someone, or are you more of a talk-it-over-with-your-pillow type?

--- I ask Dani a lot, because he is a very sincere person, for better or for worse. I also talk about it with my mother, but she is very conservative and doesn't want me to suffer, and then with Marta Albert, who is one of my best friends and knows me very well.

--- Are you impulsive, or do you think things through a lot?

--- I am very indecisive. Making mistakes scares me a lot. But with very absurd things, mind you, like when ordering takeout food. But with important decisions, I go all in, like changing apartments, partners, whatever. It has cost me so much to make it, that then it is quite unmovable.

--- How do you deal with people who know you seeing sex scenes you appear in?

--- I once experienced a quite uncomfortable moment. It was in the second season of Valeria, and I remember my mother told me: "Come and we'll watch the episode together!" And I didn't think there would be a quite compromising sex scene. Suddenly I found myself there, with my mother and my brother watching a sex scene of mine, and all three in silence. It was a quite uncomfortable moment.

"I think I give the image of being a very organized and calm person, but I am quite the opposite"

--- One of the first must have been for the series Cites. I had also done some for the musical Aloma. I remember them with a lot of nerves. As it happens now. It's always a bit of a horrible moment.

--- How does it affect you when you are not selected?

--- For me, it's very important that, when I leave the audition, I have the feeling that I am happy with the work I have done. When that doesn't happen, it's harder to manage, although I try to take it as little personally as possible. Also, the closer you are to getting it, the more the no hurts you.

--- What do people not imagine about you?

--- I think I give the image of being a very organized and calm person, but I am quite the opposite, very disorganized and restless inside. In work matters, no, because I take great care of it, but with the rest of things, yes, and my friends already know it.

--- What do they know?

--- That I can take days to reply to a Whatsapp.

--- That makes me very nervous, especially if I know they've read it.

--- I think I have about 5,000 emails to read (she picks up her phone and shows it to me). Look, 5,600! This must be what I was telling you about being disorganized. And 78 Whatsapps!

--- Whose is the last Whatsapp you received?

--- The last message is from my family's Santa Claus chat, to do the secret Santa. They are checking who wants to participate and who doesn't.

"My tics are a way of managing fears that gives me security"

--- It's just that I always have a great time. But perhaps I would say Morocco, not because I didn't like it, but because we had many problems with the hotel, and because everything went wrong. I think it's good to go with someone who has been there before.

--- And which one would you like to repeat?

--- I really liked Japan, and Mexico too. Now I have pending to go to Thailand, because I've wanted to go three times and, for one reason or another, I haven't been able to. One for work, another because my mother got sick. And I even have the whole route planned.

--- How do you manage fears? Do you have a method?

--- No. I have a bit of OCD and, although the tics change, in the end they are a way of managing fears that gives me security. When I have a performance in the theater, for example, there are some rituals that remain. In the dressing room, I always leave my clothes very well placed. They can't be wrinkled!

--- And if they were wrinkled, what would happen?

--- I don't know. I'll fall on stage, I'll go blank, World War III... Anything can happen. I also always enter the stage with my right foot and take three quick breaths before going out. But once I'm up there, the whole story ends. Luckily, I've really shielded all this because, otherwise, it can screw up your life as an actress.

--- Are you a hypochondriac?

--- Very much so. I always have been, and the truth is that it's very good to have a doctor brother. I'm very annoying, because I spend the day calling him. I also search the Internet thousands of times for things like: "Lung cancer first symptoms". My father had an aneurysm and at the slightest headache...

--- You and I can shake hands.

--- Now I'll tell you something very few people know. My grandmother always bought Pronto and I remember reading as a child, in one of the health sections, that if you're about to have an aneurysm, you should try to raise your arms, stick out your tongue, and smile. If you can do it, it's not a stroke. And I can be in a subway car full of people, and if I suddenly have a migraine, I start raising my arms and checking if I can do it! This gives me calm.

--- What is your relationship with The Mamzelles now?

--- We see each other. With Bárbara perhaps more, because her partner is a very good friend of Dani, and with Paula (Rigoberta Bandini) we also meet to catch up.

"Thanks to the Envàs, on vas campaign, people came to our concerts and knew our songs"

--- At the Eòlia school, at 16 and 18 years old, when we started studying musical theater. Then we also went together to the Institut del Teatre, and that's where The Mamzelles was born.

--- Does it bother you that we still ask you about the recycling campaign Envàs, on vas?

--- No, actually, for us it was a very good campaign, because thanks to it people came to our concerts and knew our songs. In fact, we weren't going to do this campaign, but we needed money to pay for a set design at the Lliure.

--- Why didn't The Mamzelles continue?

--- Because each of us started working separately and it was very difficult for us to get back together to make a third album. We decided to stop. I also think it worked out very well for us. Think that we were together from 16 to 26 years old, 24 hours a day.

"I wasn't aware of the boom that Valeria could mean"

--- I would say more or less equally. In fact, I can lead an absolutely normal life, and then suddenly someone might say to me: "Wow, you're the one from Valeria." Especially in Madrid, because here they know me more as Paula who does theater.

--- The success of the series Valeria has been spectacular. Did you expect it?

--- I didn't know the books and wasn't aware of the boom it could mean or that so many people could watch it in so many places. I just came back from Venice after spending a few days with a friend, and we were invited to an Aperol because the waiter had seen the series.

--- What music do you like to listen to?

--- I listen to everything! I have a pretty eclectic Spotify. Right now I'm very hooked on Tiny Desk, although it's a bit different from what I usually listen to.

--- I don't know what Tiny Desk is...

--- No? Well, there's one by Paco Amoroso and Ca7riel, two very good Argentine guys, that I love. (They are small-format concerts broadcast through the YouTube channel of the American public radio).

--- If you could choose, what musical would you like to do?

--- There are many! Sweeney Todd, Rent, Hadestown, which is now playing on Broadway...

"In life I'm not as competitive as in games; otherwise, you can get a good smack"

--- I really like to read, in my small apartment, with the sun coming in. And I walk a lot while listening to music. For example, to come here I walked from Sant Antoni listening to music, because it relaxes me a lot. I also like to meet up with friends.

--- Do you have any hobbies we don't know about?

--- I really like board games and I'm very competitive. It really bothers me when people cheat, and I've already figured out which friends I can play with, and which ones I can't.

--- In what sense?

--- I notice it right away, when I read the instructions and people aren't paying attention. For me it's like a ritual and I ask for silence! Luckily, I have friends who take it as seriously as I do, and it's a lot of fun when we get together to play. [the_ad id="188431"]

--- What do you play?

--- Well, right now we're playing a lot of 7Wonders, and also Catan.

--- In life, are you as competitive as you are with board games?

--- Luckily, in life, no. Because, if not, you can get a good beating. With the job I have, the less competitive you are, the better. It's a very team-oriented job that sometimes is much more about relaxing and letting go than pushing. Afterwards, everyone has the ambition they have, and wants to get where they want to get. But being competitive as an actress doesn't seem like a good idea to me. But in board games, I like to win!

--- At home, better plants or a dog?

--- Plants, because I don't dare to have a dog. I have a very small apartment and I'm never home. And, as for plants, I'm improving. Before, they all died on me.

--- When will we see you in the theater again?

--- Now I'm starting to study L'aranya, which is a text by Àngel Guimerà that I didn't know and that Jordi Prat i Coll will direct in the Sala Gran of the TNC.

--- Will you sing?

--- It's a text, but I sing one song. Not 22, like in Ànima.

--- Who would you have a Bitter Kas with?

--- If I could, with my grandmother. For her, it was sacred to have a Bitter Kas with some Lay's 3D's every Sunday.