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he would be proud to experience mobilizations like those that are taking place throughout the world in 2018. Actions led by people, human beings, not just women, who seek love and social justice and fight daily for equality and for women's rights. Women who walk, making their way through the jungle of sexist injustice, to leave a wide and pure path for those who are now just girls. A path on which they can walk and project their dreams with the same self-confidence and confidence in society as men can have.
I now go back ninety years. This is how this event was recounted in 1929, in an article in the 'Courts. No judicial balance. Events of the year' section of La Vanguardia on January 1st, that very first day of the year when my grandmother turned 19: "December 27, 1928: On Concordia Street, Manuel Riera Gener assaulted his ex-girlfriend, Ramona Martínez Montes, causing her three serious stab wounds. The reason for the assault was Ramona's refusal to resume the romantic relationship, which she was forced to break off due to Manuel's violent character. He, after wounding his ex-girlfriend, killed himself by stabbing himself in the chest."
If she had died, her daughters, granddaughters, and great-grandchildren would never have been born. And like Ramona's case, thousands and thousands more families. That was not an isolated case in that text. Several more of the same kind appeared, all of them cases of innocent women who were assaulted or murdered at the hands of men who did not accept that they exercised their right as a person to decide whom they wanted to love and with whom they wanted to be. That's how things were in that society of the early 20th century which, unfortunately, a century later persists in the same way.
There have been many years in which women have been subjected by a patriarchal society, fearing for their lives, fearing the incontinence of men's strength - of bad men, rather - dominated by sexist power roles, where misogyny, contempt, or belittling has been the common denominator in the lives of many of us. And it is that women go from beautiful and nice to bad, hysterical, manipulative, and feminazis in a flash according to their measuring stick, because that is the reaction the sexist has as soon as his attitude is questioned. And that is violence.
"We know well that one cannot escape violence without help, that is why we are here, to accompany throughout the process, so that women do not feel alone, that they feel understood. Fear can be broken, one can get out"To belittle a woman's opinion within the family or in the professional sphere is violence, a silent violence but just as hurtful and painful. Thanks to the tireless work of many women, their struggle, and also that of many men, a glimmer of hope for change is emerging to put an end to these barbarities to which society has accustomed us.
We must unlearn everything that a bad life and a sexist society have left in each woman." The Uruguayan writer and journalist Eduardo Galeano, who died in 2015, wrote this reflection: "There are criminals who proclaim so calmly 'I killed her because she was mine,' just like that, as if it were common sense and just of all justice and private property right, that makes man owner of woman. But none, none, not even the most macho of the super-machos has the courage to confess 'I killed her out of fear,' because after all, a woman's fear of a man's violence is the mirror of a man's fear of a fearless woman."
We believe in women as a motor for social change and solidarity among us is a good way to achieve equality and freedom. Breaking with the concept of victim: yes, it is possible. Sexist violence is a phenomenon that can happen to any woman, regardless of age, origin, sexual orientation, nationality, employment situation.Silvia, why the name Ca l'Aurèlia?We speak with Sílvia, a professional who works at Ca l'Aurèlia:
Aurèlia is a woman who has been with the association since its beginnings and continues as a volunteer helping many women. She has dedicated her life to fighting for the rights of women and their children, from feminism. Our association was initially created to help women who were separating from their relationships, and all of them had violence within the couple as a common factor.
How do women reach you?
"Mostly through other women who have already been in the association and know us. Creating what we call, "a chain of solidarity," in which a woman helped here can help others who are in the same situation. We also receive referrals from social services, hospitals, public centers… and now many through the internet, by accessing our website www.calaurelia.cat.
What activities do you carry out?
"Our direct care activities are individual and group psychological support, legal guidance, and information and telephone support. In addition, we promote a series of social participation and feminist struggle activities. We participate in the Plataforma Unitària contra les violències de génere, and we are coordinated with municipal women's care services. We have a close, very private and respectful relationship: one of solidarity among women. Ca l'Aurèlia is a space for growth, liberation, commitment and solidarity, for breaking schemes and chains.
We believe in women as a motor for social change and solidarity among us is a good way to achieve equality and freedom. Breaking with the concept of victim: yes, it is possible. Macho violence is a phenomenon that can happen to any woman, regardless of age, origin, sexual orientation, nationality, employment status, etc."
How does the patriarchal system affect a woman when asking for help?
"Women have always had the role of caregivers for others, and when we ask for help, we do it to care for someone else. For example, this is the case for many women who go to couples therapy, doing so to be better with their husbands, not to be better with themselves, nor to empower themselves and unleash their full potential, but to support their partner and modify everything that might bother the other. This is how we have been educated. Even today, men are not made to show weakness, and going to a therapist is showing weakness and accepting it and opening one's soul, and men have not been taught to do that. It is there, in those roles, where violence is framed."
Is there any society in the world where this is not the case?
"I don't know, but I don't think so. Although I am happy to know that the latest anthropological studies suggest that primitive societies seem to have been much more egalitarian than now, where tasks were shared by both sexes: children, hunting, caring for the elderly... The problem is that the history we come from has been built from the male perspective: the researcher is male, the scientist is male... something in which women have not been able to participate until relatively recently, and fear and responsibility as caregivers have made us accept this role."
"And violence is as visible as it is invisible; it hides behind a double face. It manifests itself in intimacy in many cases, in others it is perceived and even joked about. A few days ago, the Avon Foundation of Argentina launched an awareness campaign aimed at men against harassment and violence against women that has gone viral with #CambiáElTrato. Three spots designed to teach the different kinds of everyday violence that many men maintain in everyday situations almost unconsciously. Street harassment, virtual violence on social media, and domestic violence are the three areas in which each of these spots takes place. Only two men in each of them, with a minimalist aesthetic and perfect scripts, show us in 30 seconds the true psychological impact of violence generated by the attitudes they display."
Domestic violence
"Abuse is like living in a cage, with the roof on top or without air, it is violence. Silent and constant violence that does not kill. Lie. It kills just the same. It kills joy, it kills the desire to live, it kills trust and freedom."
Digital Violence
"Taking photos or videos of intimate moments, without the consent of the other person, is violence."
Street Harassment
"That girls are afraid to walk down the street, that they have to think about where they're going, that they have to think about what clothes they wear, that they have to try to be accompanied, that they are afraid to walk through some places because they will run into us, all that is violence."
How dismal is our lack of memory that makes us not remember the love and affection with which our mothers received us when we were born into this world. All women. Without them, without their love and nourishment, none of us would be here. Perhaps if we could remember, these acts of violence against women would not exist.
I trust that the new generations of men will take a giant step and distance themselves from the dark historical burden that their predecessors have left them. For a better world. May all the effort, love, and solidarity lead us to a good port. Together with one voice!